Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil Season 1
by lknmjh
Summary: The things written in this fic do not reflect the views the author has on this awesome show. Seriously, this cartoon kicks major butt.
1. Chapter 1: Episode 1

**A/N:** I don't expect this to be a hit; but being the creative person that I am, I just had to get this out. Anyhow, this is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 1

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **This theme is just too damn catchy. Yes, it's a sin (ding).**

Star: Far, far away, in a magical land called Mewni…

 **Narration (ding).**

Star: Rail slide! (Crashes into a vase).

 **Princess Anna and Princess Star should really meet up one day and exchange ideas on how to properly come down the stairs (ding).**

Star: Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible…

 **Well whatever gave them** _ **that**_ **idea? (ding).**

Star: I tame wild unicorns (leaps down onto said creature).

 **Falling from that height, your pelvis should be shattered (ding).**

(King and Queen wait for Star's arrival)

 **Wait, how can the queen's neck support that much hair on her head? (Mr. Bean:** _ **Magic**_ _._ **) (ding).**

Queen Butterfly: This wand is a big responsibility. If it falls into the hands of evil forces, the universe could be destroyed.

 **I know it's tradition, but I still have to ask: why would you then knowingly give it to someone, someone you have raised for these past fourteen years mind you, who causes mayhem to everything she touches? (ding).**

Star: *Excited gasp* Don't worry mom, I can handle it.

(Mayhem and destruction ensue, with Star looking both nervous and guilty)

King and Queen Butterfly: *Looking through binoculars* She can't handle it.

 **Giligan Cut (ding).**

Star: NOOOOOOOO! I can be good! Please! Don't send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses *Comedic pleading sobs*

(cut to..)

Star: *Moving on a conveyor belt while thunder and lightning crash* AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

King Butterfly: We're sending you to train in a safer dimension. A place called: Earth.

 **What's wrong with Mars? (ding).**

Star: Goodbye Mewni.

 **Okay, that face is adorable. Gotta subtract a sin (reverse ding).**

(Kid walks up close and takes a photo of the beasts pulling the carriage)

 **Sure kid, that's what you do to animals that are bigger than you and have teeth (ding).**

Star: And you said there was no magic on Earth.

 **Fish out of water (ding).**

(King Butterfly pulls out a treasure chest full of gold and jewels)

Principal Skeeves: She is gonna love it here!

 **(Abridged Seto Kaiba:** _ **Screw the rules, I have money**_ **.) (ding).**

Principal Skeeves: Now I'm off to the ice cream shop; daddy's getting all 52 flavors!

 **Yeah, because I'm sure wherever you're going to exchange all that treasure will have enough cash on hand (ding).**

Marco: I don't know where people get the idea I'm so safe – oh, watch your step: loose tile.

 **Well whatever gave them** _ **that**_ **idea? (ding).**

Marco: You wear a helmet in the gym shower ONE time and you're labeled for life.

 **I want a fanfiction on this; right now (ding).**

Marco: What the heck was that?!

 **Dude, your eyes are covering at least 50% of your face. I'm more worried about you (ding).**

Star: Bye new friend! See you tomorrow!

(School starts setting on fire)

 **Funny, but schools aren't made of wood writers (ding).**

Star: Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!

 **With the way she strung those words together, I half-expected half of the house to be blown up (ding).**

(Star's new castle-like stone-built room appears)

 **I don't care if it was made with magic, the Diaz's house should not be able to support that structure (ding).**

Marco: Suck? SUCK?! Why was the word 'suck' in that spell?!

 **Be careful what you wish for Marco (ding).**

 **Also, those puppies have hearts covering their butt holes. Not a sin, just thought I'd point it out.**

Marco: Luckily the cactuses broke my fall.

 **Dude, I know people who have fallen on (what I'm assuming to be) Saguaro cactuses before. You should be screaming (ding).**

Star: Do you need any help?

Marco: I'm fine, just leave me alone!

" **Are you okay" and "Leave me alone" cliché (ding).**

(Marco standing in front of a convenience store)

 **Discount 7-11 (ding).**

Star: I'll….I'll find another family to live with.

 **Uhh….I…I…I got something in my eye. Hang on while I subtract a sin (reverse ding).**

Marco: HYYYAAHHH! YAH!

 **Okay, Marco kicking some ass is worth at least another two sin subtractions (reverse ding, reverse ding).**

Ludo: You said she was unguarded!

 **Well that's what happens when you don't expect the unexpected Ludo (ding).**

Buff Frog: Whoa, what is happening?

 **Acid trip (ding).**

Ludo: I'll get you Star Butter-*gack*

" **I'll get you next time" cliché (ding).**

Star: Marco's Super Awesome Nachos!

 **I'm sorry, but the cheese to chip ratio is not equal (ding).**

Marco: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 **Jesus Christ that face (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: Are you ready to make some bad choices?

 **Peer pressure (ding).**

(Princess Ponyhead squints her eyes and looks side to side)

 **Looks like Homer Simpsons was right about no one suspecting the shifty eyed dog, or in this case: pony (ding).**

(Series of Photo booth photos)

 **Duckface photo. Two sins because two of the participants are doing them (ding, ding).**

*Super Kawaii*

 **Random Japanese (ding).**

Marco: Star, Ponyhead threatened to-. (Princess Ponyhead pushes him towards the cloud's edge)

 **Jealous best friend (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: No way girl! I'm gettin' my dance on!

 **Not-so-subtle rape imagery there animators (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: Yes, I knew you would like it here. This place is full of squares.

Squares: *Nerdy Groan*

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Star: Look, Lance Lance Revolution!

 **Discount Dance Dance Revolution (ding).**

Square: Ooh, let's see. Do I want to pointy one or the pointier one – oh, it's so hard to choose.

 **Indecisive customer (ding).**

(Star and Princess Ponyhead arrive at a club called The Scum Bucket).

 **Wow Disney, you must've been focusing on something else to miss that (ding).**

Star: He's the best turd I've ever known.

 **Damn. Marco, you'd better not get on her bad side. As for me, I'll be subtracting a sin (reverse ding).**

Lead Truant Officer: Not talking eh? What if I do…THIS! (Flickers lamp light on and off rapidly)

 **Discount Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: Hold out your hand. *Bleh*

 **Eww, that thing's been in her mouth; who** _ **knows**_ **where it's been (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: Out of the way Squares!

Squares: *Nerdy Yell*

 **Discount Tetris Music (ding).**

(Truant Officers bust through the wall of Squares)

 **Aw come on guys; you ruined my game (ding).**

Princess Ponyhead: Woo-hoo! I feel so ALIVE!

 **I think you just dislocated your jaw there princess (ding).**

King Ponyhead: It's reform school cupcake, not jail. Although admittedly it is a lot like jail.

" **No, except yes" cliché (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Damn it, this song is catchy (ding).**

 **These are the most nonsensical lyrics I've ever listened to (ding).**

 **Okay, that snail needs to be on a t-shirt. Someone go tell Disney that, now (ding).**

 **Episode 1 Sin Tally: …..**

 **BONUS ROUND**

 **Every mention of the word 'Turd'.**

 **Go!**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **Episode 1 Sin Tally: 47**

 **Sentence: Enrollment at St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses**


	2. Chapter 2: Episode 2

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 2

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

Marco: I like red, I like hoodies. So I bought a dozen of them.

 **Otherwise known as having a limited wardrobe (ding).**

(Crowd of people walk by and say hi to Star)

 **Okay writers, you clearly haven't been in high school in a while if you call that many people walking together a normal occurrence. And don't tell me otherwise because I still remember high school (ding).**

Star: Oh, come on. I'm almost as good at matchmaking as I am with magic (proceeds to accidentally blast Marco's face with magic).

 **You sure are Star (ding).**

Star: Look-look-look-look-look! It's my name! It's my name! With a star inside a butterfly and two hearts. _And_ a spider.

 **No, that's vandalism Star (ding).**

Marco: What? You don't have tests on Mewni?

Star: Uh... So what grade did you get?

 **I'm sensing a story behind that abrupt change in subject (ding).**

Marco: Only the best grade you _can_ get: A-plus _with_ a smiley face.

 **Wait a minute, what kind of math questions are those? Granted this could be an advanced math class; but from the people I see attending this class, I'm starting to wonder if the principal is more corrupt than he lets on (ding).**

Star: I got it! I'll cast a spell to get you the perfect guy, and you can give me the perfect grade.

 **No Star, didn't you watch how your father did it? You need a treasure chest full of jewels (ding).**

(Buff Frog looks into Star's room through the window with binoculars)

 **(Freddie Miles:** _ **Tommy, how's the peeping**_ **?) (ding).**

Ludo: No one's at their best when they're... distracted!

 **I don't know Ludo, I was pretty distracted when I thought up of this fanfic (ding).**

Star: If my parents find out about this, they're gonna send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses. (Cut to her being strapped down on an operating table with her hair tied back and the words "CUT HERE" and a dotted line drawn on her forehead. A demonic-looking surgeon appears before Star. He has a buzz saw for a left hand, and his right hands holds a scalpel).

 **Ha ha ha, whoa animators, I'm definitely gonna mark off a sin for that cutaway joke (reverse ding).**

 **Though that being said, that guy definitely has a rape face right there (ding).**

Star: (After hanging up on ex: Tom) I really gotta delete him off my mirror.

 **Then why haven't you? (ding).**

Ludo: Oh, well... What's that over there?!

" **What's over there" cliché (ding).**

Ludo: Get up you dipsticks (Minons proceed to get up).

 **They survive this (ding).**

Star: Sorry, Marco. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Jackie.

 **Okay, I'm not cruel; that face is worth a sin subtraction (reverse ding).**

Principal Skeeves: And now, Brittney Wong, who became head cheerleader on her own and not because her dad made a generous donation to the school.

 **Yep, he is now officially the corrupt sheriff (ding).**

Brittney: And now, our new mascot... that I never approved of... The Awesome Opossum!

 **That costume looks more like a rat (ding).**

Brittney: The Spirit Boys are gonna catch you. Grow some pompoms!

 **Did the writers really just sneak in a 'Grow some balls' joke? (ding).**

Brittney: We're gonna distract them with our booty-shaking dance moves. Uh-huh. (Brittney and the two cheerleaders start shaking their butts).

 **No high school would allow something like that as part of a routine. But then again….(ding).**

Star: Lucky for you, my mom assigned the royal guards as my babysitters. (Flashback to her childhood. A royal guard kneels in front of young Star holding a stuffed toy.)

Royal Guard: You know you've done it right when you hear the neck snap.

(He twists the stuffed toy's head, causing its cotton stuffing to pop out. Young Star delighted jumps up and down, clapping her hands.)

Young Star: Yaaay!

(Cut back to present day – gym.)

Star: *chuckling*

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene, this scene is gold.**

Brittney: I know on planet "Moo-ni" or wherever it is you're from, it may be okay to be stupid, but no pesky magical foreigner is gonna question my leadership!

 **Alpha bitch (ding).**

Marco: Put it in your mouth! Do it!

Ferguson: No!

Alfonzo: Oh, dear.

 **(Abridged Gohan:** _ **I need an adult**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: I got you now!

 **Animal abuse (ding).**

Ferguson: Dude, it's Taco Wednesday. It's the day we eat all the leftovers from Taco Tuesday!

 **Ugh, first Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks, now you; is the one throwaway joke from The Lego Movie really what pop culture wants us to remember about it? (ding).**

Marco: I'd watch that talk if you ever want to see your parents again.

 **Okay writers, you're really starting to make me uncomfortable (ding).**

(Ferguson whips his costume tail at an open soda can. The soda spills onto a nearby laptop, shorting it out. Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo stand in shock and silence. Cut to the Echo Creek Academy football field at night.)

 **Big Lipped Alligator Moment (ding).**

Marco: What's with that crazy look in your eyes?

Star: *with red, bloodshot eyes* What do you mean?

 **(Abridged Vegeta:** _ **I'm not crazy,**_ _ **you're**_ _ **crazy!**_ _ **Especially you Nappa**_ **!) (ding).**

(Two Warriors appear from behind the bleachers and abduct Ferguson.)

Ferguson: Stranger danger! STRANGER DANGER!

 **Okay writers,** _ **now**_ **I'm uncomfortable (ding).**

Star: Ohhhhh...

 **Ha ha ha ha ha, that face and reaction are worth a sin subtraction (reverse ding).**

(Referee blows his whistle before tripping over a wire.)

 **Really dude, do you not see the destruction taking place? (ding).**

Marco: No, buddy! I'm sorry! I failed you! *hugs Ferguson* Forgive me!

Ferguson: *Wakes up* Dude! I was just playing possum!

 **Disney Death (ding).**

Marco: You mean, _we_ really messed up. I should've been watching out for you.

 ***Sigh* Damn it (reverse ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 2 Sin Tally: 25**

 **Sentence: Having Star set you up with someone.**


	3. Chapter 3: Episode 3

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 3

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

Marco: No, I'm practicing for my upcoming Tang Soo Do tournament.

 **Tang Soo Do? Then why do you have various kung-fu posters plastered on your bedroom walls? I understand that it borrows elements from other martial arts, but it's still no excuse (ding).**

Star: Jeremy Birnbaum? Isn't that the talking bear that used to rummage through my parents' garbage?

 **That sounds like it could be an interesting one-shot fanfic (ding).**

Marco: HIIII-YAHHH!

(Cut to black).

Marco: *Screams in pain*

 **Now don't you start going all Sopranos on me (ding).**

(Cut to Marco's broken arm in a cast. The cast reads "Get well s n! Star!" and has several drawings on it).

 **Way to hog the cast Star, what if Ferguson wanted to sin it? (ding).**

Marco: Wait a minute. You have a wand! You could just fix my hand!

 **And make this episode more shorter (ding).**

Star: Unless... I could look up a bone-healing spell in the magic instruction book that came with the wand.

 **(Harry and Elsie:** _ **It's**_ _ **the Great Big Book of Everything, with everything inside. See the world around us, this book's the perfect guide.**_ **)** **(ding).**

Star: Yep. Whenever the previous owner of the wand mastered a spell, they scribbled it down in here.

 **Then they would be creating it (ding).**

(Star opens up the book)

 **Nothing like getting a little nightmare fuel from looking at that dark blue image that shows what a tormented soul must look like (ding).**

Star: It's gonna take me _foreeeever_ to find—Oh! Here it is.

 **(Edd "Double D":** _ **My, how convenient.**_ **) (ding).**

Star: Hmm. It's in an ancient language. Relesio Demonius Infestica!

 **Wait if it's an ancient language, then how are you able to read it so easily. That's like if I was able to pick up an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic stone tablet and began to read and translate it accurately like it was a second language despite never being taught how to do so (ding).**

Star: Relesio Demonius Infestica!

 **Also, shouldn't you be able to tell that these words do not sound like they were created for happiness, much less bone repair? Hell on the page before it, the book shows a picture of an arm with some tentacles slowly creeping in (ding).**

(The next day)

 **Considering what we're going to see later on, how is the Diaz's house still standing? (ding).**

(Marco in the shower)

 **You know, Marco should be having a hard time trying to even stand considering how heavy that tentacle arm looks (ding).**

Jackie Lynn Thomas: Can I check out that arm?

 **Clearly someone has some fantasies she'd like to try out (ding).**

Girl 1: I want it to be my boyfriend.

Girl 2: Me too!

 **This is starting to sound like Ménage à trois fanfiction (ding).**

Nerdy kid: *breathing heavily with a stalker look*

 **(Abridges Gohan:** _ **I need an adult**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: Returnio Armius Normalritecus!

 **I'm starting to question your intelligence, writers (ding).**

Star: *exhausted* Returnio... Armius... Normalrino...

 **Jesus Crist animators, she looks like she's dead (ding).**

(Hand in flower pot gives a thumbs-up).

 **Uh, thing? You're supposed to be with the Addams Family (ding).**

Star: *Looking scared* Marco, I think that arm's a bad influence on you.

 ***Shudders* Animators with that face, you could give Olivia Benson and her 'I'm about to be raped while on undercover assignment' face a run for her money; seriously, she looks** _ **that**_ **terrified right now, and it's giving me such an uncomfortable shiver (ding).**

Monster Arm: Don't listen to her. She's just jealous.

 **(Nostalgia Critic: HEART ATTACK: TAKE MEDICATION!) (ding).**

Monster Arm: I can give you everything you ever dreamed of.

 **How? You're just an arm. That's like Ygor in 'Ghost of Frankenstein' when he said he would take over the world in the Monster's body (ding).**

Marco: Wait, what?

" **Wait, what?" cliché (ding).**

Star: _That's_ Jeremy?!

 **I'm going to hate this kid aren't I?**

Mrs. Birnbaum: We love you, son!

Jeremy: Shut it, Mom!

 **Yep, that's five sins right there (ding, ding, ding, ding, ding).**

(Camera zooms in on Marco, who is half hidden by shadows).

 **Obvious evil intentions are obvious (ding).**

(Marco starts to brutally kick Jeremy's butt)

 **A little bit mean-spirited here, but I am going to remove one sin. Just one. I may hate this kid, but I am not cruel (reverse ding).**

Monster Arm: Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Monster Arm: You'll never get rid of me! I'm part of you now! *slowly fading and getting high-pitched* You can treat the symptoms, but you'll never cure the viruuuus...!

" **I'll be back" cliché (ding).**

(Brass Knuckles fall out of one of Jeremy's gloves and clangs on the floor.)

 **Wait, how the hell does that happen? He clearly has his fists closed (ding).**

Star: A party? For me? I can't believe it!

Marco: You can't? We've done this every day since you got here.

 **You know, to be able to do that for forty-seven days straight, that'd take real dedication and appreciation. I'm knocking off a sin (reverse ding).**

Gustav: Hello! It is I, Gustav!

 **Hello Raphael, I mean Yakko, I mean Experiment 625 (ding).**

Marco: I mean, who did you think all these kids were?

(Camera zooms out to show a wall of photos of past foreign exchange students).

 **Hey wait a minute, that wasn't there before (ding).**

Gustav: For Marco, the handheld game _Lederhosen Tycoon_.

 **Sure Gustav, give Marco a region-incompatible game (ding).**

Star: Oh.

 ***Sigh* Damn it (reverse ding).**

(Gustav leads the Diazes into the kitchen, leaving Star behind. Star's balloon deflates, and she looks sad)

 ***Sigh* (reverse ding, reverse ding).**

(Then she looks annoyed)

 **Damn it Star, you just had to ruin it didn't you (ding).**

Gustav: Heedless of my own peril, I disrobed.

 **Patented Kirk Shirt Rip (ding).**

Gustav: I carried Yuri back to his mother!

 **Where she then proceeded to maul you until you were dead (ding).**

Gustav: It is a land where Vikings teach gym class and everyone has a pet penguin, even if you don't like penguins.

 **There are so many things wrong with that sentence that everyone who listened to it became a bit stupider (ding).**

(Gustav plays hacky sack with the meatballs)

 **Eww (ding).**

(Gustav's bag falls to the floor, revealing its contents to Star)

 **Discount 'For Dummies' book (ding).**

 **Also the way the title of the second book is worded, it seems to tell me I would be able to learn how to cook and dress meatballs (Linkara:** _ **Because poor literacy is kewl**_ **.)(ding).**

Gustav: *Whispers menacingly* Now, eat your cake and mind your own business!

 **Dear God (ding).**

Star: Why is he always making meatballs? Meatballs aren't so great. I can make things too!

Marco: Uh, jealous much?

 **You know what they say about playing with fire Marco (ding).**

(Marco sees photos of Gustav on the wall with red string strewn about, and Star looks crazier than ever.)

 **String theory (ding).**

Marco: We're meeting Gustav for a picnic at Isolation Point, where no one can hear you scream... with enjoyment!

 **You can't miss it; it's on the way towards Camp Crystal Lake (ding).**

Star: Gustav's not taking them _on_ a picnic! They _are_ the picnic!

 **So in other words, cannibalism (ding).**

(Star lands on the roof of the car and secures herself with a magic seatbelt.)

 **Safety first (ding).**

(Star pounds on the window in plain view, but the Diazes sing and ignore her.)

 **I'm okay with this show being about a magical princess from another dimension who possess a wand and dimensional scissors, I really am. What I'm not okay with is how the logic here fails on so many levels (ding).**

(Gustav, who is really Charlie Booth, explains his "backstory".)

 **You know, this guy and the My Little Dashie "protagonist" should compare notes on how boring and dull their lives are (ding).**

Star: Well, as a matter of fact, Charlie, there is.

(Cut to Diaz Household exterior. Charlie is leaving, and the Diazes see him off.)

Star: *Enthusiastically Waving* Bye! Bye-bye, Gustav! Bye!

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Mr. and Mrs. Diaz: Happy 51st day on Earth, Star.

 **Wow writers, that's actually some pretty good continuity; well done (reverse ding).**

Marco: You kidding? You're my favorite.

Star: Aww...

 **Again, not cruel; that moment is adorable (reverse ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 3 Sin Tally: 44**

 **Sentence: Having your own personal monster arm.**


	4. Chapter 4: Episode 4

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 4

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

Ludo: We've got them cornered!

" **We've got them now" cliché (ding).**

Marco: How could I have been so stupid?

 **Yeah, who knew a simple locked door would keep the bad guys at bay (ding).**

Star: Marco, what the heck is going on?

 **That's what I want to know (ding).**

Star: What did you _do_?

 **Come on Star, now you're stealing all of my questions (ding).**

Marco: Look, do you remember when I was having that really bad day?

 **Oh so it's a "How we got here" story. Got it (ding).**

Guy on bike: You kissed a ninja *laughing*.

 **Dude, have you even seen the female ninjas depicted in today's manga, anime and video games? They're pretty damn hot; you should be congratulating this guy (ding).**

Jeremy: Well, well, well. Marco Diaz.

 **(ding, ding, ding, ding, ding).**

 **Also, "Well, well, well" cliché (ding).**

Jackie: Marco... you broke my... skateboard.

 **You know, she doesn't look or sound that broken up about it to be honest (ding).**

Jeremy: I think my work here is done.

 **(ding x10).**

(Star juggles the laser puppies).

 **That's not how you juggle Star (ding).**

Star: Who is that fresh of breath air?

 **No Star, it's The Fresh Prince of Bel-air; get it right (ding).**

Principal Skeeves: That boy has a record.

 **But I don't see his record player *ba-dum crash* (ding).**

Oskar: (Starts singing).

 **If Star considers this good music, then I hate to hear what passes for music on Mewni (ding).**

 **Yay! The snail's here! Is it on a t-shirt yet? No? DAMN IT! (ding).**

Marco: Can you please keep your fantasies out of my flashback?

 **I think you meant to say 'day dream' there, right Marco? (ding).**

(Star plays Marco's ringtone)

 **I hope Parry Gripp is getting paid his royalties right now (ding).**

Grandma Diaz: Hola, Marco, it's Grandma.

Star: *hangs up, groans*.

 **I know someone who's going to be getting an earful from his Mexican grandma (ding).**

 **Also I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this: shouldn't have Star checked the screen for Caller ID and see if it was Oskar or not.**

Star: *Looking sad* I guess I'm just not cool enough for a guy with a record.

Marco: Are you kidding? You're the coolest girl I know.

(Star smiles at Marco).

 ***Sigh* Damn it (reverse ding, reverse ding).**

Marco: Hey, Star!

Star *proceeds to scream and turn on the lights*

Marco *quickly walks away* I thought you liked clowns! Sorry!

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Marco: So I tried to lure one with your wand.

 **Wow, he was really lucky there wasn't he? (ding).**

Marco: But don't worry. This armor will hold them off.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, no it won't (ding).**

Ludo: Give it up, Star Butterfly! You're outmatched!

" **Give it up, you're outmatched" cliché (ding).**

Star: Ludo, what's with all these new monsters?

 **Took the words right out of my mouth Star (ding).**

Ludo: What? These are all the same monsters I always bring.

 **No they're not. I actually went back and checked in the background; they're not there. Nice try writers (ding).**

Star: Honeybee Tornado Swarm!

 **That flower monster looks** _ **way**_ **too happy about this attack. Wait a minute….(ding).**

Oskar: Hi, I'm calling this phone number on my phone?

 **I'm also being redundantly redundant (ding).**

Star: _Hey! I am on the phone! You monsters are so rude!_

 **Ha ha ha, damn (reverse ding).**

Marco: (As he vacuums some items on Star's side of the bathroom counter) Is it that hard to just be a little organized?

 **Like you're so perfect Marco (ding).**

 **Also: dude, not cool to clean up someone's perceived mess without consent; you don't know what you might be sucking up with that vacuum (ding).**

Star: Have you seen my charger? I know it's around here somewhere.

 **What charger? Nothing's ever been plugged under th-wait a minute? Is she talking about that little blue heart that's always under there? Damn writers, that's some pretty good continuity right there (reverse ding).**

(Marco opens his mirror cabinet)

 **How are those scissors, tweezers, nail clippers, and nail file all hanging on the inside (ding).**

Star: If it goes to skull, it'll be dead _forever_!

 **Discount Adventure Time-style face (ding).**

Sloth: Attention, Quest Buy shoppers. We have a red-ticket special. 25% off of all things that murder.

(The sloth clerk in the announcing booth is grabbed by a giant centipede monster.)

Sloth: *Screams*.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding).**

Star: Lucky for you, I myself know my way around here pretty well myself, if I do say so myself.

 **(Linkara:** _ **Redundantly, the caption was redundant**_ **). (ding).**

Star: I think I just said too many "myself"'s.

 **At least you admit it (ding).**

Ludo: Look, we're only here because I need an electric beak groomer. Keeps the tip sharp while brightening my smile!

 **How? That's like saying if I waxed and shined my nose it would make my teeth whiter (ding).**

Riddle Sphinx: You ever hear of the Internet, skeleton door?

Skeleton door: ...

 **Big-lipped Alligator Moment (ding).**

Slug man: Hold the door there, folks.

 **(Gabriel Iglesias:** _ **Oh hell no!**_ **) (ding).**

(Star climbs up a shelf, looks behind and sees a sloth clerk watching TV and eating chips.)

Sloth: You're not gonna tell my boss about this, are you?

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

(The giraffe monster roars in Star's face.)

 **Dear God that face (ding).**

Minotaur woman: Well, well, well. It looks like Mama's having pork chops for supper.

 **(Abridged Gohan:** _ **I need an adult**_ **.) (ding).**

Lobster monster: Ludo, I found it! *falls into a black hole, screaming*.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding).**

Star: Marco, where are you?!

 **No Star, it's called Scooby-Doo Where are you? (ding).**

Ludo: Uh, I must have dropped my wallet in the fight. *laughs nervously*

Sloth: *growls monstrously*

 **DAMN (reverse ding).**

Star: Eh, just my charger. *gasps* My charger!?

Marco: Uh... whoops. I must have accidentally sucked it up when I was cleaning.

 **See, I told you Marco (ding).**

(Marco falls to the floor).

' **Mewberty & You'? Pfft, as if **_**that'll**_ **be important (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 4 Sin Tally: 48**

 **Sentence: Being stuck on the elevator with the slug man.**


	5. Chapter 5: Episode 5

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 5

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

King Butterfly: Of course, very few are aware of the serious matter, so I'll be traveling afar to give an all-day lecture explaining the proper throne posture.

 **What the hell kind of lecture would** _ **that**_ **be? (ding).**

 **Also, I'm pretty sure those are anime-inspired eyes. Not a sin, just thought I'd point it out.**

Star: So this is what it's like to be bored to death.

 **She says this aloud in front of her parents who are 2 feet away (ding).**

Star: N-No, no, of course not; just normal Earth scissors. See?

 **Suspiciously specific denial (ding).**

(Mrs. Diaz is stroking Mr. Diaz's chest hair).

 **Wait a minute, he didn't have that much chest hair before (ding).**

Mr. Diaz: Oh, hello, kids.

 **Interrupting kids (ding).**

Mrs. Diaz: Wow, Marco! More... fanny packs!

 **And a bunch of people in England got a chuckle out of that line (ding).**

Mr. Diaz: Oh, yes, you know how much we love to travel and see the sights.

 **For when and where would you ever need those items when you travel? From what we're going to see later, you aren't the type to go camping. Hiking, yes; camping, no (ding).**

(Star points to her castle).

 **(Qui-Gon Jinn:** _ **There's always a bigger fish**_ **). (ding).**

(Star points out the village).

 **(Eric Idle: *Clang*** _ **Bring out your dead**_ **! *Clang*** _ **Bring out your dead**_ **! *Clang*** _ **Bring out your dead**_ **! *Clang*) (ding).**

(A merchant "flashes" Mr. and Mrs. Diaz)

 **Nice reference to Hercules there Disney (ding).**

Star: (While balancing an animal on her head) Uh, okay.

 **(JonTron:** _ **I have several questions**_ **.) (ding).**

Marco: Forest of Certain Death?

Star: Oh, don't read too much into the name.

 **How else is he supposed to interpret that? There's a friggin ax and mace on the sign (ding).**

(Marco notices how far ahead everyone else is.)

 **How fast are his parents walking? (ding).**

King Butterfly: These tracks are fresh.

(Proceeds to taste the ground)

 **(Yukon Cornelius:** _ **Wahoo! *Licks his pick-ax***_ **.) (ding).**

Marco: Nothin' makes you feel more like a man than goin' to the bathroom in the woods.

 **Hope you watched where you did your business there Marco (ding).**

(Star notices foot prints leading to a cave.)

 **(Cave of Wonders:** _ **Who dares disturb my slumber**_ **?) (ding).**

(Star and Marco, using a space blanket, are protected from the monster's fire breath.)

 **Space blankets do not work like that writers (ding).**

King Butterfly: *Yelling*.

 **(Spongebob:** _ **Victory screech**_ **!) (ding).**

Marco: Aaaand you're only wearing the fanny packs.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene, this scene is gold.**

King Butterfly: What are you doing here?

" **What are you doing here" cliché (ding).**

(Marco covers Star's eyes as Mr. Diaz walks in front of them naked.)

Marco: I wish I hadn't seen that side of my dad.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding).**

Science kid: Star, will you be my science partner? Oops.

(Science kid drops his flask full of chemicals).

 **No high school would allow a kid to mix chemicals in his locker. But then again…(ding).**

Brittney: Pfft! Ew, Star "Butterface"?

 **I am not going to sin Brittney for saying this; what I a** _ **m**_ **going to sin, however, is the fact Disney didn't catch this (ding).**

Brittney: You are invited when pigs fly! *laughs*

(Star immediately creates a flying pig).

 **Cue the flying pigs (ding).**

Star: I'm going to her party.

 **Writers and animators, I starting to become uncomfortable with the way she looks and how she said that (ding).**

Marco: But I get carsick.

 **You weren't carsick when you and your family drove to Isolation Point. Writers, I am disappoint (ding).**

Brittney: *Singing*

 **Her singing (ding).**

Star: Let me sing you some birthday tunes with my mouth sounds.

 **That face (Nostalgia Critic: HEART ATTACK: TAKE MEDICATION!) (ding).**

Brittney: *Scoffs* This is why I told my dad I wanted a party jet. Hmph.

Bus driver: I can't drive a jet.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Female Party Guest: You're welcome.

 **Funny, but how did she get a black eye that fast? (ding).**

Marco: You're feeling better. Now's your chance.

 **Dear God, that face is terrifying (ding).**

Male Party Goer: Hey, do these oysters smell bad to you?

 **Cock block (ding).**

Star: Rubber Sparkle Bounce House!

 **Uh, Star, I think something is wrong with your eyes there. Me thinks someone should see an eye doctor and get them checked out (ding).**

(The party bus is transformed into a bounce house.)

 **Yeah, no, this bus should not be moving right now (ding).**

Star: Oh, Marco. It's hard work making everybody happy.

 **That dress should not be in that position with the way she's positioned right now. And no, let me stop you right there; I am not saying I expect panty shots when I can clearly see that she always wears yoga pants or at the very least some sort of leggings underneath. What I am saying is that I expect at least some sort of realism in this show, no matter how fantastic or magical the adventures sometimes get. Otherwise my willing suspension of disbelief goes out the window (ding).**

(Three-eyed Potato Baby puts on the seat belt and adjusts the mirror.)

 **Safety first (ding).**

Ludo: Will you get on with it?!

 **(Tim the Enchanter:** _ **Get on with it**_ **!) (ding).**

Ludo: I'm gonna bus-jack this bus.

 **Oh God, did I just step onto the set of 'Speed 3'? (ding).**

(Ludo's monsters attack Star one at a time.)

 **Asking why they don't attack all at once is like asking me why I'm about to award a sin here: because it's the most logical thing to do (ding).**

(Camera zooms in on an overpass sign that reads "CAHOOGA ½, HOLLIWOOD 1, SETSUN 1½".)

 **Discount California (ding).**

(The part bus flies in front of the full moon.)

 **Discount E.T. money shot (ding).**

Jackie: Sick; party animals.

 **Did the writers really just sneak in an alcohol joke? (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 5 Sin Tally: 40**

 **Sentence: Listening to Brittney Wong sing.**


	6. Chapter 6: Episode 6

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 6

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

Oskar: (Starts singing.)

 **We're not off to a good start are we? (ding).**

Oskar: *Singing* I'm gonna live in my car at school, hey, hey.

 ***Poor imitation of Oskar's singing voice* Where the police will impound my car for trespassing on school property (ding).**

 ***Poor imitation of Oskar's singing voice* Where they'll then send me to child services because I'm a ward of the state (ding).**

(Oskar plays a keyboard solo with his tongue.)

 **Eww (ding).**

Star: Marco, this is not paint.

 **Is it me or is there something off about the animation? (ding).**

Star: I think I'm going through…mewberty.

 **(Charles Foster Kane:** _ **Rosebud**_ **.) (ding).**

(Star pulls her hair over her face.)

 **Discount 'The Grudge' (ding).**

Star: *Sexily creepy* Marco's a booooy.

 **(Abridged Gohan:** _ **I need an adult**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: *Creepy whisper* My turn.

 ***Shudders* Ooohf, Jesus Crist (ding).**

(Star shoots a purple web.)

 **Discount Spider-Man (ding).**

Marco: Maybe there's something in your book of spells that can stop this.

 **(Harry and Elsie:** _ **It's the Great Big Book of Everything, with everything inside. See the world around us, this book's the perfect guide.**_ **)(ding).**

Marco: I'll go home and get it.

Star: It's not at home! I gave it to Ferguson!

Marco: Why?

Star: I lost a bet, okay?!

 **I'm sensing a story behind this; I want a one-shot fanfic on it, right now (ding).**

Ferguson: Mi dio el libro a Janna.

 **No, it's 'Yo di el libro a Janna'. Now I could chalk this up to a simple case of word confusion on Ferguson's part and that's the way I'm probably supposed to interpret it, but I'm still going to blame the writers. Writers, I am disappoint; you were doing so well up until this point (ding).**

Girl 2: Can we use it to get my parents to stop fighting?

 **That's….that's not a joke writers. That's…that's just…sad (ding).**

Marco: I've been looking all over for this!

Janna: Well, now that you found your little book, let's make some magic with it.

 **(Bo Peep:** _ **What d'you say I get someone**_ **else** _ **to watch the sheep tonight**_ **?) (ding).**

Janna: You'll need me soon enough, Marco, 'cause I got your house keys.

 **(Abridged** **Téa:** _ **I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school**_ **. Abridged Tristan:** _ **Hey, my wallet's missing**_ **! Abridged Téa:** _ **Kaiba took it**_ **!) (ding).**

Glossaryck: Did someone say "Glossaryk"?

 **Discount Aladdin's Genie (ding).**

Glossaryck: Could've fooled me. Goodbye.

 **(Apu:** _ **Thank you, come again**_ **.) (ding).**

Glassaryck: I usually don't make exceptions, but maybe we can work something out.

 **OH DEAR GOD THOSE LEGS! MY EYES, THEY BURN! (ding).**

Star: Boy… Boooy…

(Star slowly reaches out and touches the boy's cheek.)

 ***Pushes away from computer keyboard, gets up, walks away from computer, comes back after a few moments with a wooden stake and mallet on one hand and a crucifix on the other* Okay I'm ready (ding).**

(A boy stops in front of a giant, purple, heart-shaped cocoon. He reaches out to touch it.)

 **NO, you are making the same mistake Kane did in Alien. JUST WALK AWAY YOU IDIOT! (ding).**

(Star bursts out of her cocoon, stretches her insect wings, unfolds her six arms, and hovers in the air while her hair forms into two braids.)

 **Okay animators, I am going to subtract three sins because Star looks** _ **amazingly**_ **creepy right now (reverse ding, reverse ding, reverse ding).**

Star: Boy.

(Cut back to Marco and Glossaryck)

 **Mood whiplash (ding).**

Glossaryck: Look, kid, nature is like a runaway dump truck – hot, fast, and full of garbage.

 **That is a terrible analogy; it's so terrible that I'm beginning to laugh at the sheer insanity of it. Damn it, now I have conflicted feelings (ding).**

(Star shoots a web at a locker door and rips it off.)

 **That's destruction of school property Star (ding).**

(As Star flies around trying to free herself of the net, she crashes into a tree where several boys fall out.)

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding).**

Glossaryck: You're making things worse!

 **How? As we're going to see a few moments later, if Marco didn't let go then things would more or less still turn out the same with the only difference being that he would have to untangle her from the net (ding).**

(Star flies over and carries both Oskar and his car up into the sky. Oskar, not aware of what is happening to him, continues playing his keyboard.)

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Marco: *Sighs* Goodbye Star.

(Oskar's car crashes/lands right next to Marco. Oskar then lands on his car, his keayboard landing in his lap soon afterwards.)

Oskar: What's up?

(Star then falls out of the sky and crashes into her cocoon. Marco then runs over to her.)

Marco: Star!

(Star then emerges; she's back to normal).

Star: *Groans*

Marco: *Hugging Star* You came back!

 **Disney Death (ding).**

Star: Marco, you messed up! Now you're just like me. Yeeeees.

Marco: What? No! I-I made one mistake.

 **By my count Marco, you have made two mistakes so far, or are we so quick to forget your decision to keep the monster arm (ding).**

Star: You sure "Star'd" this whole thing up. How's it feel? Not bad, right?

 **Okay Star, now you're just being mean spirited (ding).**

Pixies: Even our bathrooms smell so sweet.

 **So in other words, you go to the bathroom in a flower (ding).**

(The gang arrives at the Pixie Mirror Office.)

 **I see the Keebler Elves went out of business (ding).**

Star: Go ahead, Marco. Pay the nice pixie.

 **Okay, I know Marco's idea of making prank calls was the reason for coming to this dimension in the first place, but shouldn't you be the one trying to pay. After all, then you could guilt trip Marco into giving you some cash so that he still ends up paying but you are the one handling the business end of things. I'm just saying (ding).**

Star: Marco, did you forget to bring money, like I did?

 **Star, you can't say you forgot to bring money when you possess an item that could easily conjure it up (ding).**

Star: Wow, Marco. I couldn't have "Star'd" that one better up myself.

Marco: Like I was supposed to know to bring jewels.

 **My point exactly (ding).**

Pixie Slave driver: Nice try, blondie. These mines block magic.

 **Of course they do (ding).**

Pixie Empress: He looks delicious.

 **And thus a new fanfiction pairing was born (ding).**

Pixie Empress: Tell me, are you betrothed?

Ferguson: Yes. *Pauses* What is betrothed?

 **(Simba:** _ **Be-what**_ **? Zazu:** _ **Betrothed. Intended. Affianced**_ **. Nala:** _ **Meaning**_ **? Zazu: *Chuckles*** _ **One day, you two are going to be married**_ **.) (ding).**

Wizard: Sorry. There's no way out. Not that I've seen-.

Star: What about that mine cart?

(The aforementioned cart is sitting in front of a neon 'Exit' sign.)

Wizard: But that's the bathroom.

 **Eww (ding).**

Pixie Slave driver: Guards, seize them!

" **Guards, seize them" cliché (ding).**

(Mine shaft cart chase ensues).

 **Discount 'Temple of Doom' mine cart chase (ding).**

Ferguson: Hey! I was just about to come rescue you guys!

 **You sure were Ferguson (ding).**

Pixie Empress: He calls me Sugar Wings. *Giggles*

 **Oh, I can hear those fanfiction authors clicking away at their keyboards right now (ding).**

Marco: No! This is crazy! Ferguson, think about this! You're not ready for this kind of commitment! You're only fourteen! You still paint a face on your stomach and make it talk!

(Ferguson lifts up his shirt and looks at the face he drew on his stomach.)

Ferguson's stomach face: He has a point.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Pixie Empress: *Smile a sweet knowing smile* Hmm. Guards, kill them all.

 **Nope, there are probably people who still ship these two together (ding).**

(Ferguson pockets the Pixie Empress wedding cake figurine).

Ferguson: And I am saving you for later.

 **Did the writers really just *sighs dejectedly* yes, yes they did (ding).**

Marco: Star, I feel bad. I think I may have ruined Ferguson's one chance at love. Maybe we are mess-up twins.

Star: Oh, Marco. That pixie didn't love Ferguson. She just wanted to eat him.

Marco: Really?

Star: And let's be honest. Ferguson does look delicious.

(They laugh)

Marco: Well, yeah, I guess nobody's perfect.

Ferguson: Uh, why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here?

 **Elephant in the room cliché (ding).**

Ending theme song begins:

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 6 Sin Tally: 42**

 **Sentence: Working down in the pixie shard mines, forever.**


	7. Chapter 7: Episode 7

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 7

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

(Marco kicks Giraffe monster in the neck)

Giraffe Monster: *Choking sound* My weak spot.

 **(None Piece Alvida Crew Member:** _ **My only weakness! MY BALLS! How did you know?!**_ **) (ding).**

Lobster Claws: Oh, yeah, I got this! Go, red boy! Go, red boy! Go, red boy!

 **Hello Cousin Larry, I mean Crocco, I mean Octus (ding).**

Ludo: Oh, quit crying and rub some dirt on it!

 **On** _ **what**_ **exactly? (ding).**

Ludo: Whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa, whoa.

 **(Peter Griffin:** _ **Lois, this is not my Star Wars glass**_ **.) (ding).**

Ludo: Where do you think you're going, hm?

" **Where do you think you're going" cliché (ding).**

(Camera slowly zooms out from Lobster Claws)

 **Discount Incredible Hulk Walking Away song (ding).**

Star: Earth history is so cool. Ben Franklin blowing up that kite monster with his electric lightning powers? Like, whoa.

 **I want a fanfiction on this, right now (ding).**

Star: Um, this is the part where you fight back.

 **Hey, being genre savvy is my job, Star (ding).**

(A guy on a bicycle rides by.)

 **Is this guy so jaded that he doesn't avoid the monster that's right next to him? (ding).**

Lobster Claws: This is too hard; I'm never gonna get this.

 **Jeez what kind of monster are you? You regularly participate in monster attacks where your ass gets handed to you but trying to be good is difficult? (ding).**

Little Girl: *Sobbing* My kitty's stuck in the tree.

 **Cat in a tree cliché (ding).**

Woman: My sweet baby grand piano!

 **(Fozzie Bear:** _ **Waka Waka**_ **) (ding).**

Marco: Help the old lady cross the street.

" **Help the old lady cross the street" cliché (ding).**

Star: Well I'm not taking my eyes off him for one sec-.

(Mass mayhem and destruction ensue)

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

News anchor: Tragedy today as a rampaging lobster man destroyed four city blocks.

 **Oh** _ **now**_ **the news starts reporting these sorts of things (ding).**

Marco: But until then, I'm gonna find some rubber bands for your claws.

 **Uh, animators? Marco's walk cycle is a bit off here (ding).**

Star: Maybe there's a way we can both get what we want.

 **(Don Vito Corleone:** _ **I gonna make him an offer he can't refuse**_ **.) (ding).**

(Three-eyed Potato Baby crashes through backyard door.)

Marco: Guys?

(Marco steps outside.)

 **Wait a minute, that door was just smashed to bits a millisecond ago (ding).**

(Star and Lobster Claws have their pretend fight).

Warthog monster: You know, he has gotten way better.

Buff Frog: Very Impressed.

 **They fall for this (ding).**

Star: How could you do this?!

" **How could you do this" cliché (ding).**

Star: No, I saw the good in you! Don't do it!

" **I know you're in there somewhere" cliché (ding).**

Ludo: That's my monster!

" **That's my boy" cliché (ding).**

(Camera pulls out to show the living room has been turned into a jungle. Cue the peacocks.)

 **Missed opportunity to use the Kookaburra call there writers (ding).**

(A lion monster attacks Marco.)

 **Umm, something about the animation is a bit off here (ding).**

Marco: That makes it 28 saves for you and... 4 for me.

 **28 saves? How many potential adventures have we been missing? (ding).**

Marco: But, heh, who's counting.

 **(Homer Simpson:** _ **NEEERRRRRRRD**_ **!) (ding).**

Star: Well somebody did.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Star: Lamp. Destroy.

 **What? No complicated string of words to bring it to life? (ding).**

Marco: That's, uh, 29 to 4.

 **Wait a minute, there's only 27 checkmarks (ding).**

Star: Yeah. Psychologyyyy.

 **AHHHH! THOSE EYES (Nostalgia Critic: HEART ATTACK! TAKE MEDICATION!) (ding).**

Star: Oh yeah, we have something like that on Mewni.

(Cut to a man being flung by a catapult.)

Marco: Yeah, this is pretty different.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding).**

Star: What does Ph.D. stand for?

Mrs. Diaz: "Pretty handsome dude."

 **Looks like someone's a shipper on deck. And no that's not a sin.**

Star: That reminds me of my overbearing mother suffocating me with all the duties of becoming a queen for the rest of my life.

 **Clearly someone needs to confront Freud about a repressed thing or two (ding).**

Elephant Princess: I want your face!

 **Okay writers, you have now stepped into "Giant Space Flea from nowhere" territory (ding).**

(Elephant Princess hides behind a newspaper.)

 **Clearly someone has been watching too many cartoons (ding).**

Elephant Princess: The only people I listen to is my mind. And right now, my mind is telling me to steal her face.

 **So in other words, schizophrenia (ding).**

(Marco throws his Psych 101 book right at Elephant Princess, knocking her out and freeing Star.)

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (reverse ding, reverse ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 7 Sin Talley: …..**

 **BONUS ROUND**

 **Every mention of the word "Camera Phone"**

 **Go!**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **+1**

 **Episode 7 Sin Tally: 35**

 **Sentence: Being friends with Lobster Claws.**


	8. Chapter 8: Episode 8

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 8

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

(Oskar plays on his keyboard.)

 **How is this kid still living on school property?! (ding).**

Oskar: Hey, that's a handicap spot.

 **Eh, I'm sure the principal won't mind (ding).**

Tom: *Removes sunglasses* Hey Star.

 **I don't know what to sin here, the fact that he did the CSI Miami sunglasses meme wrong or the fact that it's a discount of that meme. Eh, I'll just do both (ding, ding).**

Star: Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope. You need to leave right now. Take your carriage and fire and dead horse, and go back to the underworld.

 **I see that the animation is a bit off (ding).**

Skeleton horse: Wait, I'm dead?

 **Okay, that face, tone and overall reaction is actually chuckle-worthy (reverse ding).**

 **But then again, if that horse doesn't think he's dead, what does he think he is? Because it sure isn't alive (ding).**

Tom: It's the Blood Moon Ball! It only happens once every 667 years.

 **Whose bright idea was this? If was centered on the Earth's moon (and yes, it is the Earth's moon as we're going to see later on) then this dance would be happening two to five times a year (ding).**

Tom: And, and I have been anger-free for 53 days.

 **Yeah, no, that's not nearly enough time for you to claim the anger-free card (ding).**

Tom: I'm good. Got the angries out!

 **The strain in your voice seems to disagree with you (ding).**

Marco: Star, never go with a predator to a second location.

 **Um….did…did…did he really just imply date rape? (ding).**

Marco: You're making a big mistake Star.

Star: Maybe. But it could be fun.

 **You know, now I'm curious as to why she broke up with him in the first place if she's willing to go through with this (ding).**

Star: Yeaaaah, totally, totally, totally. I just gotta stop using magic on... on... on my face.

 **Missed opportunity to have comedic burns on her face there writers (ding).**

Star: Well, *grunts as she puts on boot* there's only one way for me to find out.

 **(** **Benjamin Braddock:** _ **Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you**_ **?) (ding).**

Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, guys. I don't know what you're about to do, but I want to keep things low-key for Star.

Skeleton or hooded man: You want to turn the Blood Moon Ball into a greeting card holiday, go ahead.

Tom: Wait. Which one of you said that?

Skeleton or hooded man: Me.

Tom: No. Okay. Whoever was just talking, raise your hand.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Brian: You can be positive that your anger is negative.

 **(Lloyd Braun:** _ **Serenity now, insanity later**_ **.) (ding).**

Disembodied voice: Blood moon tonight. The moon of lovers.

(Marco then looks at Tom's bell and hammer.)

 **Marco, remember the last time you listened to a disembodied voice? Remember how it made you hit yourself? (ding).**

(Two three-eyed demons pose for their photo. Unicorn blood is dumped on them, and the camera clicks.)

 **Discount "Carrie" money-shot (ding).**

Tom: I'm so excited to be covered in blood with you. But don't worry, it's not real. It's from a unicorn.

 **How does that make it not real? (ding).**

Small-headed demon: You want to dance?

Tom: Her dance card's full.

 **Cock-blocking (ding).**

(Marco grabs Star by the hand and pulls her close. The light of the blood moon shines on them, drowning the ballroom in red light. Marco starts dancing with Star, who looks mesmerized. As Star and Marco dance, Star smiles.)

 **Oh god….the music, the dancing, the…..feels, they're…..so strong…so…..beautiful…urge to nitpick…falling….fast. Must…..remove….seven sins….in order to…not explode….in happiness (reverse ding x7).**

Marco: *Lifts up mask* It's me, Marco.

 **Missed opportunity to have 'Tuxedo Mask'-esque character there writers (ding).**

That dance...was meant...*demonic voice* for _**ME**_!

 **Dude, you were the one that left her alone on that dance floor. If Marco didn't come, someone else surely would have danced with her (ding).**

(Star freezes Tom in a block of ice).

 **Damn. Just….damn (reverse ding).**

Marco: Me? I was just trying to help.

 **Marco, you idiot, stop talking; you're just digging yourself deeper (ding).**

Star: You don't trust me to do things by myself. I'm 14; I can handle a demon. I know you're trying to look out for me, but you have to let me figure things out on my own. I don't need a hero. I need a friend.

(Marco looks guilty).

 ***Sigh* Damn it (reverse ding).**

Ludo: How are you losing?! You guys have, like, 200 pounds on her! At least hit her with a rock or something!

(Bear monster hits Star with a pebble. She doesn't budge.)

Ludo: *Frustrated groan*

 **What, you said, 'Hit her with a rock' (ding).**

Marco: Double or nothing! One kick, seven monsters!

 **I count six monsters and Ludo there Marco (ding).**

Marco: These are fortune cookies. They can magically predict the future.

 **(Jackie Chan:** _ **Pfft, you listen to a cookie**_ **? Finn:** _ **Evenin' Chan**_ **. Uncle:** _ **Never. Mock. The cookie**_ **.) (ding).**

Ludo: Where did you come from?

Toffee: I let myself in.

Ludo: When?

Toffee: After you hired me.

Ludo: I hired you?

Toffee: I accept.

 **Oh sure, when he tries this, he gets hired, but when I try it, I get shown the door (ding).**

Marco: See? No one's here. Now, who wants nachos?

(Ferguson suddenly appears behind the door.)

Ferguson: Did someone say nachos?

 **Funny, but you were clearly not within earshot when Marco said that (ding).**

Star: Pegasus feathers! I have always dreamed of having a skylight in here!

 **Star, not cool to start making holes in other people's houses like that (ding).**

Ludo: Well, Toffee? Give it to me straight.

" **Give it to me straight" cliché (ding).**

Star: On Mewni, there's a place where you can get calzones that'll tell you how you're going to die.

(Cut to Mewni where someone is biting into a calzone.)

Calzone: You will die from choking on a calzone. Just kidding. *laughs* A giant's gonna sit on your face.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Two-headed monster (right head): Back off, dude. I've been waiting for this since middle school.

 **Because that's not a creepy thing to say at all (ding).**

Star: "A great evil has been unleashed."

Star and Marco: Ooooohhh *laughing*

 **Remember what Uncle said. (Uncle:** _ **Never. Mock. The cookie**_ **.) (ding).**

Toffee: Yes, well, you're not the first monster to fall victim to their magic.

Ludo: Things will be different when I get the wand. *laughs while imitating laser blasts*

(Toffee looks out the window expressionless.)

 **Obvious foreshadowing is obvious (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme.**

 **Episode 8 Sin Tally: 22**

 **Sentence: Being Tom's next life coach.**


	9. Chapter 9: Episode 9

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 9

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

(Star taps her head with her wand to select a hair band)

 **I see the animation continues to be a bit off (ding).**

Marco: Ah! Out of the way. I overslept! I'm gonna be late.

 **How does a meticulously safe-kid like you oversleep, Marco (ding).**

Marco: Where's my hoodie?!

 **Presumably in your very organized closet, Marco (ding).**

Marco: (Puts on red hoodie)

This isn't about learning.

 **Eww, bathroom floor clothes (ding).**

Marco: Every day, I get there by 7:55, because at exactly 7:56, Jackie Lynn Thomas gets there. And we share a nod. It's kind of our thing.

 **Marco that is not love. That is something worse than neurotic (ding).**

Marco: See, it's all a part of my 23-step plan.

 **Overly complicated plan is overly complicated (ding).**

Star: *Singing* But it's a freeze-day.

 **Roll credits (ding).**

(Star and Marco eat a little girl's birthday cake).

 **That's not funny writers, that's just cruel (ding).**

(Star sticks out her tongue to show she's accidentally eaten a still-lit birthday candle).

 **Yeah, no, she should be screaming in pain from all that hot wax (ding).**

(Star and Marco have a picnic on top of a car stuck in traffic on a freeway).

 **What the hell kind of pie is that? (ding).**

Marco: *Laughing* That was the funnest 60 hours of my life!

 **How would you know? It's not like you could've looked at your cell phone or watch (ding).**

Marco: The—the—the wind isn't right. I've got a pimple coming in. Uh, I'll just do the nod today.

 **What, no trifecta of lame excuses? You could've easily added something about a bus full of nuns in there somewhere, Marco (ding).**

Star: Okay, Magic Instruction Book, instruct me.

 **(Harry and Elsie:** _ **It's the Great Big Book of Everything, with everything inside. See the world around us, this book's the perfect guide.**_ **) (ding).**

(Star and Marco enter the planes of time).

Marco: Whoa. This is definitely one of the weirder places we've been to.

 **Discount 'The Persistence of Memory' painting (that's the melting clocks painting for those of who are vaguely familiar with it) (ding).**

Star: Here kitty, kitty.

Cat with human face: *Demonic voice* Look away.

 **Jesus Christ that face (ding).**

(Star points to the wheel of progress).

Star: Look that must be it.

 **(Edd "Double D":** _ **My, how convenient.**_ **) (ding).**

Marco: Hmm, I got this.

 **(George Lopez:** _ **I got this!**_ **) (ding).**

Father Time: And this is Rocksworth. He's a rock, but don't bring it up, he's kind of sensitive about it.

 **Hello Rocksworth, allow me to introduce you to Penny, Chip, and Used Napkin (ding).**

Father Time: Oh, it's glorious.

 **Please never spread your legs like that (ding).**

Father Time: YOLO!

 **YOLO (ding).**

(Star and Marco leap on a clock floating in the water. They turn into babies).

 **It'd be a sin to not remove a sin for such adorable babies (reverse ding).**

Star: Oh, my hearts.

 **Uh, I'm more worried about your back there, Star (ding).**

(Marco is shown events in his life).

 **There are so many things wrong with this scene, it requires its own mini-bonus-round.**

 **Number one, how old was he when he began having his crush on Jackie? From the footage, I'm going to guess that he's at least four years old. What kind of kid starts having crushes when he's four years old? No one and anyone who says otherwise is lying (ding).**

 **Number two, what kind of memories are these? Given what we know and what we assume to know about Marco, there should be a bigger collection of embarrassing memories interspersed with his nods towards Jackie. Where's that incident of wearing a helmet in the gym shower? (ding).**

 **Number three, jeez, I've heard of long term plans, but this is ridiculous. Now I want to know what the other 19 steps left in this plan he made when he was FOUR YEARS OLD! (ding).**

 **Number four, talk about a letdown. If Star's memories ended on an event that happened in the first episode, why don't Marco's memories end in the same manner, like when she put a black hole in his room or gave him a hug? (ding).**

 **Number five, obviously depressing childhood is obviously depressing (ding).**

Star: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

" **Are you thinking what I'm thinking" cliché (ding).**

Father Time: I owe ya.

" **I owe you one" cliché (ding).**

Marco: All of a sudden I thought, if you have the time, why waste it?

 **Well, that and being shown you've been stuck in one place since you can remember is a good motivator (ding).**

(Marco slides down Star's water slide).

 **I'm sorry, but at that speed with those sudden turns, we should be hearing some bones comically breaking (ding).**

King Butterfly: I was in the neighborhood and…

" **I was in the neighborhood" cliché (ding).**

Mr. Diaz: You can watch the kids while me and the wifey get away.

 **Jeez, I've heard of dumping your kids on someone but this is ridiculous (ding).**

Random clown: I got 20 bucks on Teddy!

 **Discount Cock fighting (ding).**

(King Butterfly flushes toilet).

 **Fish out of water (ding).**

King Butterfly: Where does the water go?

Star: Nobody knows.

 **I think Nemo, Marlin and Dory would be able to give you a proper explanation (ding).**

Star: Go for it.

 **Discount Adventure Time-style face (ding).**

Star: Do it.

 **Discount Amazing World of Gumball-style face (ding).**

(Star wakes up with her dad's underwear near her face).

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Star: I don't know how much more of this I can take.

" **I don't know how much more of this I can take" cliché (ding).**

Marco: Uh, hey guys, are those water balloo—Whoa!

 **Maybe it's time to put on your shoes, Marco (ding).**

Star: There's nothing worse than wet socks!

 **Mundane solution is mundane (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 9 Sin Tally: 40**

 **Sentence: Wearing wet socks, forever.**


	10. Chapter 10: Episode 10

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 10

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

 **Alright, here we are at our very first half-hour special (which includes the commercials). I am ready to be amazed.**

Star: I just called, 'cause I have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day. Happy birthday on your birthday day!

 ***Sigh* And we begin things with, once again, the animation being slightly off (ding).**

 **Also, discount 'Happy Birthday to You' song (ding).**

Princess Pony Head: I mean, a princess, such as myself, could never indulge in such confections.

 **I think Princess Anna and Queen Elsa would respectively disagree with that notion (Anna and Elsa: *Sniffing the air*** _ **Chocolate**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: Sliding down the twisty slopes of Zala Mountain…

 **I think you meant to say 'spiky' there, right Star? Because those mountains are clearly not twisty (ding).**

Star: Then, dancing all night long at the Bounce Lounge.

 **(Ruby Rhod:** _ **All night long, all night long! All night**_ **!) (ding).**

Pony Head: *Gasps* And that's my third strike.

 **Three strikes policy (ding).**

Marco: What's that under your rug?

 **That's what I want to know (ding).**

Marco: We only need three things: patience, brains, and the ever famous multi-faceted bobby-pin.

 **Uh Marco, I didn't hear 'breaking in and escape plan' on that list (ding).**

Miss Heinous' Assistant: Ah yes, the newbies have arrived.

 **And now we finally reached the point where Jeff Bennett has run out of voices (ding).**

Star: Radiant Shadow Transform.

 **Discount 'Sailor Moon' transformation sequence (ding).**

(Star makes a princess dress for Marco).

 **And thus an entire batch of unneeded and unwarranted gender-bent fanfiction was born (ding).**

(Advertisement for St. Olgas begins).

 **Discount 'Every pointless advertisement that colleges and universities send out' (ding).**

Ad V.O.: We have a plethora of foolproof security measures.

 **First off, the 'Retractable Draw Bridge' is not a retractable draw bridge, it's a metal gate (ding).**

 **Secondly, there is no 'Bottomless Pit of Dispar', it's just the ground we just saw people walk on with no difficulty (ding).**

 **Thirdly, you're telling me you have ways of monitoring the mirror calls, yet the people inside can't even write letters to mail out or receive letters from home? You risk alienating the princesses whose homes don't possess these magical objects (ding).**

(Miss Heinous takes away a princess' dimensional scissors)

Miss Heinous: These are useless. We have a Tramorfidian crystal in Tower 3. No rift can sustain itself within our walls, so you might as well cough up the scissors you smuggled in.

 **Why don't you just paint a sign that says "Destroy this tower and you can go home."**

Marco: Once we get Pony Head and disable that crystal thing, those are our ticket out of here.

 **See (ding).**

Miss Heinous' Assistant: Respect the queue, respect the queue!

 **Wait, is it 'line' or 'queue'? Writers, make up your mind (ding).**

Marco: Come, on! Look at the intricate floral ornamentation on that armoire. The rich mahogany of the canopy bed. And there's enough velvet on that bedspread for me to swim in!

 **(Homer Simpson:** _ **NNEEEEEEEERRRRDD!**_ **) (ding).**

Marco: No, we gotta do this quietly, without drawing any attention.

(Marco unlocks the door and Star rushes in excitedly)

Star: I am here 'cause I have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day!

 **You just had to say it, didn't you Marco (ding).**

Pony Head: My deepest apologies but I must abstain, for partying is for the unrefined.

 **Discount 'Villiage of the Damned' child (ding).**

Tea drinking princesses: It's not criminal, to be an individual!

 **A nice and rousing protest, don't get me wrong, but speaking in rhythm like that doesn't make you all individuals (ding).**

Pony Head: Tee-hee hee, he got scalded.

 **Really? I didn't exactly hear him say 'ow' (ding).**

Miss Heinous: An uprising? In _**my**_ institution?

 **Are you really this surprised? Even the most evil of evil dictators know that their greatest enemy are their own subjects (ding).**

Marco: Quick, find a place to hide.

 **Yeah, because barricading the door will always keep them out (ding).**

(Guards pull back the curtains, only to find a pair of red boots).

Guards: Aww.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Miss Heinous: Prepare the chamber; I'm leading this princess hunt myself.

(Cut to Pony Head's room where it's revealed that 'Pony Head' is nothing but a teapot, a candle, and some rope).

 **They fall for this (ding).**

(Marco regurgitates the bobby-pin).

 **Eww (ding).**

(Marco's eyes are forced open as a film titled: 'A Lesson in Etiquette. With a Glance at the Improper' is played on a huge screen in front of him).

 **Discount 'A Clockwork Orange'-style torture (ding).**

(Star begins to cry).

 **Umm….I—I—I….I got something in my eye. DON'T LOOK AT ME (reverse ding).**

(As pony head rips up the propaganda poster, her braid becomes undone).

 **Wait, how the hell does that happen? (ding).**

Star: Raspberry Panzerfaust!

(Star destroys the crystal and the tower comes tumbling down).

 **What, no final obstacle to destroy the crystal? (ding).**

Marco: Looks like that did the job!

 **Seems like Marco graduated from the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things (ding).**

(Firework-like blasts emit from the tower rubble).

 **Unexplainable magic is unexplainable (ding).**

Marco: Get on with your bad self my wayward sister.

 **Marco, please never talk like that again (ding).**

Star: Okay Marco, I conquered my biggest fear and grew as a person, yadda, yadda, yadda.

 **(Elaine Benes:** _ **Yadda, yadda, yadda**_ **!) (ding).**

(Miss Heinous tests the bobby-pin to see where it came from).

 **Overly complicated science is overly complicated (ding).**

(The color green is listed as coming from the Earth Dimension)

 **(Kermit the Frog:** _ **It's not easy being green**_ **.) (ding).**

Miss Heinous: Hmm, I will find the rebel rousers responsible for this and annihilate them!

 **Obvious foreshadowing is obvious (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 10 Sin Tally: 36**

 **Sentence: Watching A Lesson in Etiquette. With a Glance at the Improper.**


	11. Chapter 11: Episode 11

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 11

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

(Buff Frog is spying on the Diaz's house, looking through some binoculars).

 **(Freddie Miles:** _ **Tommy, how's the peeping**_ **?) (ding).**

(A floating eyeball appears).

 **I think Lachesis, Clotho, and Atropos are missing their one lone eye (ding).**

Star: It said on the invitation you're supposed to bring a sword.

 **Going by that logic, everyone was also apparently supposed to bring skulls to form a pile for you to stand on (ding).**

Star: Uh, it's the 37th of Gravnok?

 **Star says this as if this is common knowledge on Earth (ding).**

Star: Mewnipendance day?

 **Roll credits (ding).**

(Star pulls out a children's book titled, 'Mewnipendance Day').

 **Discount 'Little Golden Books' book (ding).**

Star: So the queen used her magic to turn the simple peasants into a fearsome army.

 **So in other words, steroids (ding).**

Star: And then there was fighting. Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. And the Mewnians won.

 **(Thurgood Stubbs: '** _ **I, Hilton Jacobs, being of sound mind' and uh, c'mon let's get to the good stuff. 'It was during my years with the CIA' blah, blah, blah, 'Bay of Pigs was actually' blah, blah, blah 'And James Earl Ray did not' yadda, yadda, yadda**_ **.) (ding).**

Marco: Wait, but you just blew past all the important stuff.

 **Hey, Marco, being nit-picky is my job (ding).**

Ms. Skullnick: When do we eat?

 **(Mr. Krabs:** _ **When do we get the free food**_ **?) (ding).**

Star: Oh, that's just the All-Seeing Eye.

 **Wait, how the hell did that thing manage to get inside the house? (Mr. Bean:** _ **Magic**_ **.) (ding).**

Ludo: Now we can watch Star where ever she goes! In the kitchen! Bedroom! Even in the bathroom!

Toffee and Buff Frog: (exchange nervous expressions) Uhh...sir?

Ludo: Maybe we don't keep the bathroom channel.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Ludo: Now that you don't have any spy stuff to do, you should get us some popcorn and milkshakes.

 **(Homer Simpson:** _ **Let's all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes**_ **!) (ding).**

Ludo: She doesn't even know we're watching her.

Toffee: Sometimes your biggest threat is right under your nose.

 **Obvious foreshadowing is obvious (ding).**

Ferguson: My pillow.

 **So wait, is he wearing green lipstick or are those green lips attached to his face via some string? Make up your mind animators (ding).**

Marco: Hey Star, I've been looking through your-hold on.

 **I don't care if he's been trained in martial arts, he should be having a more difficult time walking and moving in that suit of armor (ding).**

(Star opens up more of her pop-up book).

 **Impossible pop-up book is impossible (ding).**

(The Warnicorn looks creepily at the nerdy kid).

 **(Robot Chicken Unicorn:** _ **In the magical land of unicorns, there's no need for clothing**_ **.) (ding).**

Alfonzo: Do something, he's writhing in pain! Oh, never mind. He stopped.

 **Eh, I'm sure he's playing possum (ding).**

Toffee: The Great Monster Massacre.

 **Discount 'Dramatic Gopher'-style stare (ding).**

Toffee: And it's not like she's going to notice a real monster.

 **Obvious foreshadowing i-. (ding).**

Ludo: Those aren't real?!

 **He falls for this (ding).**

Ludo: What a massacre.

(Toffee clenches his missing finger fist).

 **Obvio-. (ding).**

Ludo: I rescued you from a life in the swamp; I took you in.

" **I took you in" cliché (ding).**

(Buff Frog gets thrown out).

Buff Frog: No, wait! NNNOOOOOOOOO!

 **What are you so worried about? Just do what Lobster Claws did and you'll be fine (ding).**

(Star leaves out some buttered corn for Buff Frog. Buff Frog is touched at Star's kindness and generosity).

 **You know what writers, that's some really nice character development. I'm knocking off a sin (reverse ding).**

Star: So it does exist. To the TV!

 **(Jerry Seinfeld:** _ **To the Idiot-mobile**_ **!) (ding).**

Marco: I can't. I've got to get to my Karate class…

 **So which is it writers, Karate or Tang Soo Do? Make up your damn minds (ding).**

Doctor on TV: Your new kidney came from a werewolf.

 **That sounds like a better plot than the one we're following (ding).**

Star: Glitter Grenade Rewind.

 **And with that one instance of magic, she managed to make both the people watching at home and the network confused as all hell (ding).**

Commercial Boy # 1: It's so hot.

Commercial Boy # 2: And I'm so bored.

 **Being hot I can get, but how will making ice cream out of bananas make you less bored. You want something that doesn't require a lot of effort, not something that'll make you frustrated (ding).**

Star: *Gasps* What are they gonna do?!

 **If you calm down, maybe you'll find out (ding).**

Commercial V.O.: It's a little bit of banana and a little lot of magic.

 **Must….resist….telling…toilet humor (ding).**

(Star attacks the mailman).

Star: Hey! Get out of our yard box you scoundrel! Hide your dragon eggs somewhere else!

 **You're not helping your case Star (ding).**

Star: Good bye, sweet Marco.

 **Discount "Good night, sweet prince" cliché (ding).**

Marco: Wait, we're gonna walk on those?

Jeremy Birnbaum: *Chuckles smugly*

 **(ding x10).**

Jeremy: Classic Marco. Writhing in agony.

 **(ding x10).**

Star: Okay, I'm on Main Street. Now where is Riverside?

 **You're not walking in the right direction there Star (ding).**

Star: *Whispers* Not true; I'm a powerful princess from another dimension, and I'm gonna get us all outtta here.

 **Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, (reverse ding x3).**

Star: Do you surrender pirate?

Restaurant owner: We aren't pirates. This is a pirate themed restaurant!

(Star looks at the damage she's caused and chuckles nervously).

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

(Star stands on top of a bus stop shelter that has an advertisement for the Banagic Wand).

 **What kind of restaurant name is just 'Tacos'? (ding).**

(Star conjures up a bike helmet before going down a hill in a shopping cart).

 **Safety first (ding).**

Star: Starlight Foot Smash

 **Now where the hell did her bike helmet go? It just disappeared as soon as she started going down this hill. Animators, I am disappoint (ding).**

(Jeremy whips out a cell phone and begins to video record Marco).

Jeremy: And here we have Marco Daiz approaching the gauntlet of fire.

 **(ding x10)**

 **Also, narration (ding).**

(A trophy falls on Jeremy's head where it then gets stuck there).

 **(reverse ding x20).**

Karate instructor: Daiz wait, you did it!

" **Character achieves something by not realizing they're actually doing it" cliché (ding).**

 **Also, this seems to imply that the instructor was watching the whole time without doing a damn thing about Jeremy's bullying. Irresponsible teacher is irresponsible (ding).**

(Star hands Marco a bowl of banana ice cream).

Star: Here. I went downtown, by myself.

Marco: I know, I was there.

 **Oh no you were not (ding).**

Star: It was way easy. I guess you could say I've totally mastered Earth.

 **Not if you're still attacking the mailman Star (ding).**

Marco: Sorry. I've underestimated you.

Star: You underestimated me?

Marco: (Looking slightly guilty). Uh…yeah, I did. Sorry.

(Marco then gives a small smile as he lifts up the spoon to take a bite of the banana ice cream).

Marco: This stuff looks delicious though.

(Star knocks the bowl and spoon out of his hands).

Marco: Why did you-.

Star: There was a fly on it.

(Star walks away without saying another word).

 **This leaves me confused. Is she sad that he underestimated her? Is she disappointed? Is she insulted? Is she mad? It seems like she's mad judging by the poor excuse she just gave with the little to no emotion in her voice. I can't exactly find fault with what Marco said, even though from another point of view he may have insulted her. Is she in the right? Is he in the right? Conflicting ending is conflicting (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 11 Sin Tally: 51**

 **Sentence: Being in a monster costume on reenacting Mewnipendance Day battles.**


	12. Chapter 12: Episode 12

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 12

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

(Star sticks her head out the school bus window as it's moving).

Star: YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! WHHAAA-HOOOOO! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

 **Uh, Star? That's a one-way ticket to achieving a Darwin award there (ding).**

Marco: Seriously Star? There's nothing to be excited about. It's just the—.

(Star sticks her head back inside).

Star: The best day of my life!

 **So….we're really not going to address the ending to the last episode? No important character development to expand upon? *Sighs* Okay then (ding).**

Ms. Skullnick: Cork it, princess!

 **(Ms. Crabtree:** _ **Sit down and shut up**_ **!) (ding).**

Star: You go talk to her.

Marco: More than just 'Hello'? Too risky; might say something dumb.

 **So tell us Marco, how far along are on your 23-step plan of yours? (ding).**

(Marco hits 'Send' and sends Jackie Lynn Thomas a text message).

 **Okay writers and animators, make up your minds; does he have a touch-screen phone or not? Because no touch-screen phone will have a physical numeric key-pad when touch-screen is an available option (ding).**

Star: What is it?

Marco: It's a paper clip.

 **A paper clip museum? (Abridged Yami Yugi/Atem:** _ **Okay, seriously, you've got to be f****** kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that**_ **?!) (ding).**

Ms. Skullnick: I used to think that. But now I'm fifty and all my dreams are in the rearview mirror.

" **Arrow to the knee" cliché (ding).**

Ms. Skullnick: You think you can lead this trip better than me?

 **You know what they say about tempting fate Ms. Skullnick (ding).**

Star: I was born to lead. Literally.

 **(Annie Oakley:** _ **Anything you can do I can do better; I can do anything better than you**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: Welcome to the dimension of wonders and amazement!

(Later…)

Marco: What is this place?

Star: Oh, just a planet full of the most odd and unbelievable things in the universe.

 **So wait, is it another dimension or a planet? Star, make up your mind (ding).**

(Star turns Ms. Skullnick's bullhorn into a mini-bull. The bull opens its mouth and makes a truck horn sound before running off).

 **(Abridged Nappa:** _ **I get it**_ **! Abridged Vegeta:** _ **Shut it Nappa**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: Being a leader is easy. Just say 'Yes' all the time.

 **Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that's terrible advice (ding).**

(Jackie Lynn Thomas rides a stingray with her skateboard helmet on).

 **Safety first (ding).**

Francis: Um, yep! I really wanna do this!

(Francis leaps into the vortex where there are now three more of him, all stacked on top one another).

All the Francis: I really didn't think this through.

Top Francis: Oh, stop. You guys knew this would happen.

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Star: Sabrina!

Sabrina: Hey Star, isn't this great?!

 **Yeah, I don't care; children's cartoon or not, different dimension or not, that cheerleading skirt shouldn't be able to stay up like that (ding).**

 **Also, discount 'Relativity' painting (that's the crazy stairs painting done by** **M. C. Escher for those of you who are vaguely familiar with it) (ding).**

Star: Where did everybody go?

" **Where did everybody go" cliché (ding).**

Jackie: Marco!

Marco: Jackie! Hi! Hey. Yeah, uh. Hey, uh.

 **(Spongebob:** _ **Squidward, we already played babble like an idiot**_ **.) (ding).**

Janna: Yeah Marco, help me.

 **Like that's gonna help you get down faster Janna (ding).**

Janna: Aw, relax. They weren't real fangs. Unless you want them to be.

 **(Abridged Gohan:** _ **I need an adult**_ **.) (ding).**

Ms. Skullnick: Get that bus moving!

(Bus starts moving).

 **Hey wait a minute, who's driving? (ding).**

(Ms. Skullnick ties a bit of the string monster to a paper clip and locks the paper clip on to a pole).

 **Mundane solution is mundane (ding).**

Jackie: Hey Blake, sweet beard.

 **Uh writers, that's not a beard. At best, that's stubble, and that's me being generous (ding).**

Blake: I grew it last night.

 **Oh no, you did not (ding).**

Marco: I did it, I grew a beard.

 **And you're not in the list bit suspicious, aren't you (ding).**

Star: Okay, think Star. What would a normal person without a wand do?

(Star thinks up of a dolphin in an office building, sitting at a cubicle).

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

Ludo: That's a house? It's covered in hair.

 **Forgotten that you've already been here before have you Ludo? (ding).**

(A giant ball of hair rolls towards Star).

 **Discount 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' boulder (ding).**

(Toffee hand giraffe monster a cup of water).

 **Wait, where the hell did he get that? (ding).**

Laser Puppy: Let me remind you of a time before your wand, when a preciouses preteen got mixed up with snakes, goblins, and ghouls.

 **Discount 'Pac Man' ghosts (ding).**

Laser Puppy: All while looking super cute.

 **(reverse ding).**

(Ludo flashes back to a birthday party he had as a child).

 **And thus the TV Tropes WMG page for Star vs the Forces of Evil exploded (ding).**

Star: Thank you Marco, for teaching me such a valuable lesson.

 **Hey wait a minute, he only had his face covered a few seconds ago (ding).**

Toffee: What kind of leader throws you in a pit of hair, makes you do all the work, and shows you no appreciation for your sacrifices?

 **The kind that's doing their job right (ding).**

Toffee: Your soldiers deserve better.

 **Oh no, what a totally unexpected twist; I really didn't see this coming. Oh wait…(ding).**

 **Also, "One bad guy betrays the other after working together for some time" cliché (ding).**

Ludo: You can't do this!

" **You can't do this" cliché (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 12 Sin Tally: 34**

 **Sentence: Being tickled by the Tickle Monster**


	13. Chapter 13: Episode 13

This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil

Episode 13

Spoilers

(duh)

Opening theme song begins.

 **Theme (ding).**

Marco: Are you sure this is safe?

" **Are you sure this is safe?" cliché (ding).**

(Marco looks at his right arm and a millisecond flash of monster arm appears).

 **EVAunit42: Discount 'Fight Club' (ding).**

 **Exotos135: Monster arm jump-scare (ding).**

(Steam from the monster blows Star slightly upward).

 **Otaku Eloise: Pretty sure Marco is looking up Star's skirt here (ding).**

(Star and Marco run away from the monster).

 **I'm going to subtract a sin here for the animation looking like it did in the first episode (reverse ding).**

(Star fires up her wand and conjures up an enormous strawberry short-cake cake, which she and Marco safely land on).

 **Hey wait, when was she able to perform magic without uttering a single word? (ding).**

(The sandwich lands just in front of Star, its ingredients falling perfectly into place).

 **Nope, I don't care if this is a cartoon, that sandwich should be strewn everywhere (ding).**

Marco: Star, pay attention!

Star: Just a little closer.

" **Just a little closer" cliché (ding).**

(Marco grabs Star and pulls her into the portal just as Star grabs the sandwich. It splits in half).

 **How the hell does it just split in half? Man, the laws of physics are all over the place, aren't they? (ding).**

Star: We went through all that trouble and this sad, little, scrap of sandwich is all we have to show for it.

" **We went through all that trouble and this is what we have to show for it" cliché (ding).**

Star: I hate when you act like this; it makes me wonder why we're even friends!

 **God, what a jerk. I think someone needs to learn a lesson about getting their priorities straight (ding).**

(Marco, slightly turning his head over his shoulder, looks at Star with a hurt expression on his face).

" **Character X and Y get into an argument which ends with X saying a particularly mean thing to Y, which makes Y hurt on the inside" cliché (ding).**

Star: Ugh, where did all these flies come from?

 **Good question (ding).**

(Star walks into her room and lays on her bed as she grabs a pillow and screams into it. We then cut to later at night where she is fast asleep).

 **Mood whiplash (ding).**

Star: (Eating the sandwich) *Ecstasy Moan* So good.

 **(Homer Simpson:** _ **Mmm, doughnuts**_ **.) (ding).**

(A photo of Marco and Star falls gently onto Star's sandwich plate, landing in an upright position).

 **Obvious guilt symbolism is obvious (ding).**

(Star knocks on Marco's bedroom door).

Star: Marco? I'm sorry; I was a jerk. It's just that I really wanted you to try this sandwich. It's kinda smashed and dirty but *singy-songy tone* it's still delicious.

" **After feeling guilty about fighting with character Y, character X decides to make amends by offering something Y will enjoy" cliché (ding).**

(Marco's bedroom door opens without any input from Star).

Star: *In a worried tone* Marco?

 **Oh God, did I just step onto the set of 'Paranormal Activity 6'? (ding).**

(Mr. and Mrs. Diaz are sitting on the living room couch, underneath a blanket with a flashlight, giggling).

Star: Uh…what are you guys doing?

Mrs. Diaz: (Sticking her head out from underneath the blanket) Oh, Star. We were just looking at Raphael's old book of medical illustrations.

Star: Weird.

 **My point exactly (ding).**

(Star dials Marco's cellphone number. The ringtone begins playing from somewhere in the house).

 **I hope Parry Gripp is getting paid his royalties right now (ding).**

(Star follows the sound of Marco's ringtone, which is behind her, coming from Marco's bedroom. She goes in, taking the receiver with her).

 **Impossibly long phone cord is impossibly long (ding).**

Star: What have you done with Marco?!

" **What have you done with" cliché (ding).**

Fly monster: If you ever want to see the boy alive again, bring the wand to Ludo's castle tonight. And come alone.

 **Exotos135: "Characters get into a fight, only for one of the characters to be kidnapped/die/what have you" cliché (ding).**

 **Also, "Come alone" cliché (ding).**

(We cut to a policeman writing down what Star is telling him).

 **Wait, only now are the police involved? But why? Granted Marco's parents are caring and decent people, and what they're doing here is totally natural in their minds, but they have bared witness to Star's magic before so they know she is more than capable of being able to rescue their son. This is a serious lack of faith on their end (ding).**

Policeman: *In a condescending tone as if he were taking to a small child* You like magic little girl?

 **Are we seriously going to give the normal townsfolk the same short-term memory loss problems that the normal Earth population in the Dragon Ball series have? You have witnesses at the school, those who attended Brittney Wong's birthday party anyway, who can tell you that Star isn't crazy (ding).**

Mrs. Daiz: Look, this isn't your fault Star.

" **This isn't your fault" cliché (ding).**

(Buff Frog, in a semi-depressed lazy manner, tries to eat a fly, but the fly flies away).

Buff Frog: *Sighs* Why bother.

 **Big-lipped Alligator Moment (ding).**

Buff Frog: My name is Yevgeny Bulgoyaboff.

 **Complicated name is complicated (ding).**

 **Although, in Russian, his first name translates as Eugene. So, kudos to you writers (reverse ding).**

Buff Frog: What do you want?

" **What do you want?" cliché (ding).**

(Star blasts both Ludo and Buff Frog before running over to the large brown cloth bag and opening it).

 **Dirty Harry and Star should really meet up one day and exchange ideas on how to properly shoot suspects (ding).**

Star: *Menacingly* Where's Marco?

 **Okay animators, I'm going to knock off a sin because Star looks** _ **amazingly**_ **intimidating right now (reverse ding).**

Ludo: That wasn't a gift, you ding-a-ling.

 **God, what a jerk. Though he is a bad guy, so I don't even know why I'm surprised (ding).**

Marco: Look, if you're after the wand, it's harder to get than you think. Lots of people have tried.

 **Uh, by my count Marco, only Ludo has tried (ding).**

(Marco tries to punch Toffee, but ends up hitting his reflection on the glass).

 **Um, no writers, this isn't like Jurassic Park; Toffee was clearly in front of Marco when he handed him the sandwich, not behind him (ding).**

Marco: Yeah, well, you're boring; and you dress like a lawyer.

 **Pathetically lame insult comeback is pathetically lame (ding).**

(Star holds up the keys that clearly belong to Ludo).

Star: Looks like these are yours.

Ludo: Those aren't mine.

 **Suspiciously specific denial (ding).**

Ludo: It's the circle of life.

 **(** _ **Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba**_ **.) (ding).**

Star: Well I don't like his... Uh...uh...

 **ZarroWWolf: What was that scene for? (ding).**

(Buff Frog grabs a chain saw with his bare hands).

 **And thus Disney was forced to cut this bit of the episode out for future rebroadcasts because they received complaints from the parents of the kids who were stupid enough to imitate what Buff Frog did (ding).**

(We cut to Toffee, whom we see has had his left arm blown off by Star's laser blasts. It is slightly gruesome to look at).

 **Guest # 1: Oh that reminds me Star Wars is out this year (ding).**

 **Justin: You know, for kids! (ding).**

(Star leaps down from the chandelier with the most angrily determined expression on her face. The attacking monsters quickly surround her, but she conjures up a blue smoke-like barricade, stopping them in their tracks).

Star: No.

 **Damn. Just…damn (reverse ding).**

(Star prepares to conjure up the biggest laser blast she has ever fired as the wand, the hearts on her cheeks and her eyes glow. Marco ducks as she fires the blast, shattering Marco's prison).

 **Discount 'Kamehameha' blast (ding).**

(Toffee regrows his left arm).

Toffee: That's no way to treat our guest of honor.

 **Jesus Christ (ding).**

(Star prepares to, once again, shatter Marco's prison).

Toffee: That's not going to work again.

" **That's not going to work" cliché (ding).**

Marco: (Straining to hold up his prison, which is slowly coming down on him) Don't worry Star. I think I got it.

 **(The Dark Knight's Two-Face:** _ **Have you ever had to talk to the person you love most, tell 'em it's going to be alright, when you know it's not**_ **?) (ding).**

Toffee: Do you think I'm like Ludo?  
 **Justin: Toffee would be great at Star vs the Forces of Evil sins (ding).**

Toffee: Surprise!

 **(Jack Skellington:** _ **Surprised, aren't you**_ **?) (ding).**

Toffee: Marco's waiting.  
(Star looks over at Marco, who is nearly squished by his prison).

Marco: Star?

(Star then looks at the wand and with a sad expression, she kneels and picks it up).

Star: I'm sorry.

(Star performs the Whisper Spell).  
 **Justin: With how fast it took for Marco to almost be squished into the ground, he should have been dead LONG before Star finished with her spell (ding).**

Toffee: Gentelemen, it's been a pleasure…

" **It's been a pleasure" cliché (ding).**

(As the wand begin to violently cackle with energy, Toffee smiles a very smug and evil smile).

 **Obvious foreshadowing is obvious (ding).**

Star: Look, nature!  
(Ludo emerges from the egg laid by the chicken monster).  
 **ZarroWWolf: Are you telling me that the whole damn castle exploded, Toffee disappeared, everyone is practically dead from the blast, and yet Ludo managed to survive the explosion in a most likely very fragile egg, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CRACKS AT ALL? Okay. We know they still want Ludo for future episodes... but something could've really changed in that scene, writers (ding).**

Ludo: Where is my castle?

Star: It's gone.

Ludo: And where is your wand?

Star: That's gone too.

Ludo: Everything? WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS!

Star: We never were friends.

Ludo: You are now my mortal enemy! This day, I vow—huh?

(Star opens up a dimensional portal and throws Ludo in it).

 **There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.**

(Star and Marco hug, holding each other very passionately).

 **My God…..my chest….these feelings…..so powerful…so full of…joy. And who put a bowl of onions next to my face, and why am I smiling so much my cheeks hurt (reverse ding x30)**

Unicorn: *Speaking Italian* Excuse me.

 **Why is this creature speaking Italian? Random foreign language is random (ding).**

(Star receives her new wand).

 **Exotos135: Unicorn ex machina? (ding).**

Marco: Uh, do I know you?

 **Jeez, what kind of kid doesn't recognize his dad's voice? (ding).**

King Butterfly: *Whistling his 'S's' So, basically, just to recap…

 **Wait a minute, he's never had that kind of speech impediment before (ding).**

(Queen Butterfly hugs Star).

Star: So, you're not mad?

Queen Butterfly: (With a smile on her face) Oh, I'm always mad, but I'm happy that you're safe.

" **Strict parent turns out to have an understanding heart of gold" cliché (ding).**

 **But then again, this moment is nice, so….(reverse ding).**

Queen Butterfly: We can call back.

Glossaryck: No, it's fine. I'm just doing a little gardening.

(Proceeds to shave his left leg).

 **Exotos135: Fan disservice (ding).**

Glossaryck: I hope you found all the pieces of the wand.

(King and Queen Butterfly look at each other as we cut to the other half of the crystal star, which is lying in a different dimension, glowing a sickly green color).

 **Ah, so it's going to be like 'Gravity Falls', answer most of the season one questions but leave everything else for season two. Got it (ding).**

Ending theme song begins.

 **Ending theme (ding).**

 **Episode 13 Sin Tally: 24**

 **Sentence: Watching Glossaryck shave his legs, forever.**

 **A/N: And so, we finally close the chapter that is Star vs the Forces of Evil Season 1. This was a really fun thing for me to write and I love all the feedback that you readers and reviewers left. While I wasn't setting out to write the most critically acclaimed fic in this category, I was honestly surprised at how many of you actually enjoyed it; so to you I say my thanks.**

 **Thank you everyone who participated in sinning the season finale. I know there wasn't that many that participated, but I'm very grateful for the material I was provided with and I would like to be able to do that again, hopefully with more people participating.**

 **Speaking of doing this again, a lot of you are probably ready to ask me when I am going to be doing a Cinemasins fic of Season 2. Well the answer is that I don't know.**

 **Why do I say that? Well, one can only hope that there won't be a swarm of people that will more than likely be inspired to do a Cinemasins of season two as soon as the first episode airs; so perhaps I'll be doing that as well. We'll see, because the future isn't written in stone.**


End file.
